we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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