i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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