I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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