I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
