'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
