Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
