The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize