it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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