actually, I'm a sock model
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Randomize
