dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Randomize
