She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
