South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
