You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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