okay pat passed out under dana's car
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
