Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Drunk is a universal language darling
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
