I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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