so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Dignity is for republicans.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
