so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
