Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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