Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
