its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
