what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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