It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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