I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
