And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
