i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
