can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
