if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
