I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize