i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I can text with my tongue
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize