UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
