i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
