Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
