Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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