He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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