there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
