fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
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