Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Randomize
