I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
