i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
