This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
