He is an equal opportunity slut.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
