Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
