Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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