so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
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