Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize