Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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