Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
