That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
