we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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