They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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