she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
