I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize