State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
