I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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