I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
His hands were made for my vagina.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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