Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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