I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
