I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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