i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
never play flip cup with pint glasses
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
