He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
