The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
In other news, I just burned my penis
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Randomize
