There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
