you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
