I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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