what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
