Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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