it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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